Anomaly
by Major Noku
Summary: Ragna does something that he shouldn't, and it messes up the Continuum Shift! Now he's been thrown into a random alternate dimension filled with weirdos named after food. How will he get back to Kagutsuchi? NO ROMANCE, PARODY/CRACK FIC
1. Prologue: The Anomaly

**A/N: So, this is my first fanfic! The prologue (the part right after this) is gonna be a bit serious and dark. I can assure you, however, that from chapter one through to the end, it will be parody, humor, comedy, and everything else you can think of that is synonymous with those three!**

**Updates will probably be all over the place. Y'know, just as a warning.**

**Other warnings: Profanity throughout the story; violence and character death in the prologue.  
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**I do not own Blazblue, Chowder, or anything at all related to either. Chances are if you recognize it, it's not mine.**

-A-

Jin sailed through the air before slamming into a large pillar. He fell forward, blue clothes stained red with his blood, concentrating on stopping himself from vomiting more of the crimson liquid onto the ground in front of him. Still he smiled, though it became much harder, as his attacker's footsteps approached.

"You're pathetic, Jin," came the voice. The man lifted the injured blond by the front of his uniform, glaring into those unstable green eyes.

"I c-can still f-fight..." Jin paused to take a labored breath, pain constricting his chest. He stared right back into the other's eyes, grinning insanely, and continued. "I _will_ b-be-" he interrupted himself with a cough, "beat you... Brother..."

Ragna, for obviously that was who Jin's attacker had been, snarled in response. He could feel something pushing at the edges of his consciousness, and it was making him even more irritated than he would normally be in this situation.

Jin, sensing his brother's hesitation, attempted a slash with Yukianesa. Ragna dodged, dropping him in the process. The blade barely scratched Ragna, making only a small cut on his chin. Though it was far better than decapitation, it still pushed his irritation over the edge.

Before Jin could stand and make his escape (or, more likely, attack), he found his older brother's foot firmly planted on his chest. He looked up, staring at mismatched eyes, and grinned again.

"So," he began, finding it even harder to breathe, "when d-"

"Shut UP!" yelled Ragna, interrupting whatever nonsense had been about to spill from Jin's bloodied lips. "I am so TIRED of you!" That _thing_ was still pushing against his mind, dark and sinister. He couldn't think straight. His vision began to blur and he felt as though he was watching a movie, not really part of the scene around him. He suddenly felt a rush of energy as he lost total control of his body.

Jin's eyes widened in fear as Ragna dug the heel of his boot into his chest. A black aura surrounded his brother as his expression distorted into one of inhuman fury.

Ragna tried to stop himself as he raised Bloodscythe. He knew what was happening, but just didn't want to accept it. The Azure Grimoire was taking over. Against his will, his arm slashed down, blade arcing towards the pale neck of the bloodied man on the ground. Before the blond could even make a sound, he was dead. Ragna couldn't feel the blood splattering all around or the violence-induced grin on his face, but he knew they were both there.

He was frozen in shock (or as frozen as you can be when you aren't even in control of a body). Suddenly, all feeling was returned to him as the Azure Grimoire left his mind. He moved quickly away from the body of his younger sibling. Jin may have wanted Ragna dead, but that didn't mean the feeling was mutual. There was a possibility of helping him! They could ha-

_**ERROR. ERROR. ANOMALY DETECTED. SYSTEM FAILURE IMMINENT.**_

A robotic voice suddenly blared to life, cutting off Ragna's train of thought. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere; within him and from some great beyond. He couldn't make sense of it.

_**OUTCOME NOT PREDETERMINED. PROBABILITY OF ACHIEVING CURRENT SERIES OF EVENTS; ZERO. NOW COMMENCING A RESET. REMOVING ANOMALY.**_

Once again, Ragna began to lose feeling throughout his entire body. Though it was different this time; none of the malicious intent from the Azure Grimoire was tainting his thoughts. It was more like he was simply ceasing to exist. He looked down to find his body slowly dematerializing.

"WHAT THE HELL?" he panicked. This was reminding him _way_ too much of ghosts.

_**ANOMALY RELOCATION: 40% COMPLETE. RELOCATING TO RANDOMLY SELECTED ALTERNATE REALITY. SELECTING... SELECTING... SELECTION COMPLETE. RESUMING RELOCATION OF ANOMALY.**_

And that was the last thing Ragna heard before the silver-haired man vanished from everything he had ever known.

-A-

**A/N: So, there you go. Other chapters will be longer, I promise. I also promise that they won't be dark or depressing or anything at all like this one. They will be funny. And if they're not funny, they will at least be sweet and lighthearted.**


	2. Chapter 1: Foods

**I don't own Blazblue or Chowder.**

-A-

Ragna awoke feeling slightly disoriented. He thought back to what had happened, and a feeling of nausea swept over him. It wasn't like he had never witnessed death before - hell, he had even _killed_ - but the fact that the Azure Grimoire had totally taken control like that spooked him more than just a little. He groaned and put a hand to his head.

"Wait, look, I think he's waking up!"

Ragna heard voices and footsteps crowding around him, and he frowned in irritation. He sat up and opened his eyes. Looking around, he realized everything was a lot simpler and rounder than anything he had seen before in his sharp, detailed life. A face then firmly planted itself smack in the middle of his field of vision. It didn't even look human, with its blue skin and huge nose. Ragna tried to move away, but the weird, blue guy kept following his movements. "Are you alright? How are you feeling?" the strange and slightly-creepy man asked.

Ragna was about to snap at the man, saying something along the lines of 'Well, I'm covered in blood and cuts, do I look alright to you?' when he reached the conclusion that, no, he wasn't hurt at all, save for a couple small scratches here and there. In fact, there wasn't a single drop of blood to be found anywhere. His clothes were even fixed.

"Uh... Yeah. I guess I am," he glanced awkwardly at the blue man. "So... Who are you?" Ragna's tone somehow managed to make the question sound like an accusation, but the blue man didn't seem fazed for even a second.

"Ah, yes, pardon me! Allow me to introduce myself." Another strange thing about the man, Ragna noticed, was that he sometimes seemed to have some kind of weird accent, and other times he didn't. Like he was pretending to be enthusiastically-fancy. ...Whatever the hell that meant. "My name is Mung Daal, greatest chef... EVER!"

Ragna raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing. The man - Mung - continued introducing everyone in the room. A "mushroom pixie" named Truffles, Schnitzel the "rock monster", and finally some weird purple raccoon-thing called Chowder.

"And you are?" Ragna was a bit taken aback at this question. Did they not recognize him from the wanted posters? He supposed that was a good thing, since he didn't really want to go to jail. Or be associated with that weird abomination of what was most certainly not his face. But... should he tell them his name? Or come up with an alias?

The place seemed pleasant enough, maybe nothing bad would happen if he told them. "Ragna the Bloodedge."

The other occupants just stared at him. After a few seconds, Ragna was beginning to think he made the wrong decision - and was about to bolt for the door - when Schnitzel spoke up for the first time. "Radda radda-radda? Radda, radda radda. Radda radda!"

'_Wait. What?_'

Truffles looked over at the large, grey thing, nodding. "I don't believe I've ever heard of a food like that, either."

Now Ragna was even more confused, and struggled to keep up his scowl. Was _everyone_ here named after food? He thought it was just a weird coincidence that he had come across these four. And all the rounded simplicity was beginning to freak him out. It was almost as if... '_Did that voice say something about this?_' Ragna tried to remember anything that would help, but he had been (and still was) too stressed out to pick out specific details. Ragna just decided to play it safe.

"It... Some guy made it a while ago... and... It didn't really catch on...?" Ragna glanced around the room awkwardly, looking anywhere but the other occupants. "...'Cuz of the name..."

Chowder looked up at Mung with the hugest eyes Ragna had ever seen. "Can we keep him?" he whispered.

Ragna gave the little purple thing one of his best mildly irritated glares. "No, I've wasted enough time here as it is. I have to go, I was in the middle of something very important." He gestured at the tiny crowd to move out of his face so that he could finally stand from the spot on the floor he had woken up on. "So let me actually have some personal space."

The four moved back, allowing Ragna enough room to rise, but Chowder immediately rushed back, clinging to Ragna's legs. "BUT YOU'RE SO COOL!" The poor kid looked like he was going to burst into tears at any second. Ragna's expression involuntarily softened at this, and he looked up as Mung began to talk again.

"Why don't you spend the night here? It's getting pretty late, and Chowder seems to really like you," he said with a smile. This was met with a radda from Schnitzel that Ragna just assumed was some kind of agreement, and even Truffles seemed relatively accepting of the idea.

Chowder stared straight up into Ragna's eyes throughout the exchange, slowly adopting a sort of hopeful look. By this point, the scowl was long gone from Ragna's face; instead he was biting his bottom lip, feeling very conflicted. "But... I... have to get back to-"

"Please please please please pleeaaassseee?" Chowder pressed his nose/snout/whatever into Ragna's knees, and his mask of indifference and irritation was completely destroyed.

-A-

Ragna had to use a spare cot in Chowder's room, and after many assurances that Kimchi was not a ghost - followed by Ragna attempting to ignore Chowder staring at him creepily for longer than he thought possible - the two finally made it to sleep.

Ragna, wanting to get going as soon as possible, got up early the day after. He headed back down to the kitchen, deciding to whip up a quick breakfast before he went on his way. He decided on something simple; a ham omelet with bacon. Gathering the ingredients, he set to work. He had underestimated Chowder's ability to sense food, however. Just as he was about to sit and eat, he found the young, purple... thing... standing in the doorway and watching him.

"Uh... Is there something you want from me?" he didn't know why, but Ragna had the sudden urge to hold his bacon to his chest protectively.

Chowder didn't say anything as he simply took a step closer, watching something slightly below Ragna's head. '_What is he looking at?_' he wondered. As Chowder got steadily closer, Ragna slowly began backing up. The kid had a slightly dazed look in his eye, and was moving slowly and awkwardly forward. Almost like... a... '_A zombie!_' "Okay, you are seriously freaking me out. At least say something!"

"I WANT MEAT!" Chowder launched himself into the air. He flew straight at Ragna's face, who immediately responded with an extremely feminine-sounding scream. He was tackled to the ground, expecting to die any second. He saw Chowder open his mouth wide enough to fit an entire human head in, and immediately shut his eyes against the image. '_OH GOD, HE'S GOING TO EAT ME!_'

He almost passed out when he began to hear eating sounds, but after a few moments he realized nothing was happening to him. He opened his red eye cautiously, to see what was going on. The green one quickly followed suit.

Sitting on his chest was Chowder, holding an empty plate and watching him. Chowder slid onto the floor awkwardly, still clutching the plate. They sat there watching each other for a few seconds, before Chowder abruptly yelled "MORE!" Ragna immediately leapt up and got to work, still fearing for his life.


End file.
